Wedding Preparation Stress (And How To Handle It)

You are doing your wedding preparation, and as the little and big things pile up, you start to getting into conflicts with yourself, your partner, and both your immediate and extended and family. While planning your wedding can surely be a fun and exciting venture you share with the people closest to you, the tensions surrounding any wedding preparation can also be a major source of stress. It is important for couples to know how to deal with them in a way that will not lead to negative stress. If you can properly manage these conflicts, they may even end up strengthening the bond between you and your partner!

On that account, KALM is here to share some as the wedding date approaches:

1. During and After Wedding Preparation… Work as a Team!

Partners must work as a team! Set a shared perspective on what ideal married life means and commit to work together towards it. This means looking a bit beyond that fairytale-glow that seems to surround the wedding day. Recognise the real reasons you’re getting married and what they mean to you on a daily basis. Without first becoming a team, you and your partner will not be able to face future pressures from all directions.

Tip from Kalmselor:

It is very important for couples to focus on the big-picture and keep certain values close to their heart. Couples can start by making a list of priorities, then showing and discussing it with each other. Break the list down and see if there is any shared point between the lists. Talk about the unshared points. Work out how both of you can compromise on things you two disagree with.

2. Have Heart-to-heart Conversations

Married life demands both your and your partner’s involvement. In order to reduce future conflicts, it is best to start talking about the do’s and don’ts. Talk also about the personal rights and responsibilities of both the husband and the wife. This meaningful exchange allows couples to set a similar view towards practical but important concerns regarding work life, finance, settlement, spending time together, and so on.

3. Be More Flexible

New customs that may stir up your daily routine typically will influence life after marriage. Do your best to adjust to the new dynamic. Do this even if they are different from the pattern you have been accustomed to growing up. As the saying goes, “Seek first to understand before being understood.”

Tip from Kalmselor:

Before commenting on your partner’s opinion, breathe and buy yourself some time to formulate the best response. You may have had the experience of saying something out of reaction without giving it any thought, and have come to regret that choice. This time, put yourself in their position and imagine how they would feel if you carelessly react. Stop and ask yourself, “Will my response be worthwhile or will it complicate the situation?”. Keep calm, Kalmers.

4. Talk to a Friend

Experience is the best teacher. Seek for advice from trustworthy friends and have been through what you are going through. This will help you feel more composed and relaxed during your preparation towards the D-day and transition onto the married life. Their insights may help you determine the right course of action to take when the going gets tough and if you ever find yourself in situations you never been before.

5. Schedule a Me Time

When you feel strained from the wedding preparation process, plug yourself out from the system. Pamper yourself by doing things that you truly enjoy. Once you have freshen up, go back to the things that needs your dealing with.

Tip from Kalmselor:

If you are too occupied to spend some time alone, try regulating your breathing to eliminate the stress. To do so, deeply inhale for seven counts, hold your breath to the count of “three”, and slowly exhale in six counts. This can help you remain relaxed anytime, anywhere.

6. Discussion

Discussion is essential when defining the different roles and responsibilities following different members of the family after marriage. It helps you distinguish the different aspects that you, your partner, and your families will each be responsible for.

Tip from Kalmselor:

Create your own list of responsibilities, and see if your partner and family approve of it. Take note of what they have to say about it and weigh out the pro’s and con’s to consider what suits everybody best. Go for the option that is most beneficial for all.

7. Trusting Others

Once you’ve put other people in charge of certain parts of the wedding, trust and appreciate their abilities and decisions. Avoid absorbing yourself with the details and instead assure yourself, believing that both your partner and your family would want the best for your wedding. Don’t tackle too much with the responsibilities that you have trusted other people with, as it may shift your concentration away from the meaningful moments taking place throughout the day.

Be Perfect or Be Happy?

There is no such thing as a perfect wedding or a perfect marriage. This is simply because marriage involves bringing together two imperfect people from two imperfect families. Certain unanticipated tensions can act as bumps on your road to married life. That is when you and your partner, as future husband and wife, should face it as a team. Only then can the two of you achieve a truly happy and meaningful marriage. Don’t missed out being happy because you try too hard to be perfect. Lastly, remember that wedding preparation is not all about party-planning for the reception, but also preparing yourself for the life that marriage brings.

We wish you a peaceful and calm wedding preparation!