When He Broke My Heart

When he left me with a heartbreak. The world turns dark as if the sun turned its face away.

My hollowed chest still bleeds after his presence was ripped away from my heart

The happy chitter chatter of my notifications that used to filled my day,

“Morning, Baby! All the best today!”

“Have you eaten yet? Don’t forget to eat, okay…”

“You’re going home now? Careful in the way.”

Is now silent. And quiet. And just aches.

The kind of aches that is indescribable.

Day by Day

Memories of him came without purpose and without warning. It feels like I die over and over again everything I am reminded of “us”.

This is why I hurt even more when they say to me,

“Relax! There’re still plenty of fishes in the sea”

But I only want him, not them.

“Whatever, I experienced something worse than you, you know!”

Even if that is true does that took away my right to mourn?

“Come on, don’t be pathetic!”Stop! Enough! Just stop it!

Don’t try to teach me! I don’t need your lecture!

You will never understand how my heart pounded and died when I realised that love has left me.

Broken heart has made me no longer human. The moon waxes and wanes but my tears did not run dry. When I have to imagine his arm that used to hold me will one day embrace another.

I did not want and refuse to meet anyone. I feel it wasn’t only him who left me but the whole world that rejected me. Even God Himself turn his face away from me!

Then Suddenly, One Day

I myself cannot be sure when and where. What I know is that now I can reminisce that wound and smile. It cannot be denied that heartbreak truly negatively affected me physically, mentally, socially, and even spiritually. But I am fine now.

I can now also understand, to fall in love means that I have to be ready to have my heart broken. And when I have a brokenhearted friend I can support them without saying too much. As long as they know that they do not have to be a lone in their journey to mend their heart.

This is my little note, on how to love myself after I got brokenhearted:

Taking Care of My Body After Heartbreak

• Just keep all things that reminded you of your partner in one place, aside on the corner.
• Crying without sleep for 3 nights is enough. After that take a warm bath and drink chamomile tea or warm milk before bedtime so you can feel relaxed and sleep soundly.
• The sun actually still shining and it means you are still alive! Write and read to your self three things that you are grateful of in the morning to increase your happiness level for the whole day. You can start a gratitude journal. Not sure how to do it? Read this article.
• You can refuse to eat. But only for 3 days, okay, KALMers. After that, eat nutritious food even if it feels tasteless.
• Don’t eat instant noodles or other junk food to try making yourself feels better. It’ll only make it worse. And definitely don’t do alcohol or drugs. Please, don’t sacrifice your health for someone who is no longer in your life anymore.

Taking Care of My Mind After Heartbreak

• Avoid cursing your ex. However it is now, he was someone you cared for before.
• Make sure all matters are settled so there’s nothing to talk about.
• Imagine that there is a future partner that is better than your ex.
• Fight for yourself so that someday you will be a person worthy for your dream partner.
• If God allows, one day you may become a parent. Make your children proud to have a parent who is strong enough to face the pains of life.
• Maintain your self worth by accepting what has happened with your old love.

Taking Care of My Social Aspect After Heartbreak

• You don’t have to be scared to tell people you have broken up. To confess and accept our broken heart will make it easier to heal.
• Try to not talk too much about it in social media. This can leave digital trace that may pop up every year like a birthday.
• Tell to a trusted friend or family member when you feel like your heart is still hurting. Don’t say you have move on when you are still sad.
• Be honest to your friends and family that you need them to cheer your up.

Don’t hesitate to talk to our Kalmselor through KALM App if you feel that there are no friend or family members whom you trust and can talk with. KALM App is available in Apple App Store (link) and Android Playstore (link).

After the Love is Gone

Experiencing heartbreak is really uncomfortable, right, KALMers? Not only our mind that is affected but also our physical body can experience the negative effect of heartbreak. But trust me that you are not alone and what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. What you need to do is to manage these emotions and maintain yourself well. Don’t forget to take care of your body, mind, and social aspects, okay?

If you feel difficulty managing your heartbreak for whatever reason, it starts to disturb your normal daily activity, or your sadness last more than a few weeks, don’t hesitate to find professional help.

 

Author: Dr. Rini Handayani, S.Si., M.Pd.K, P.C.

Editor: Lukas Limanjaya