KALMers, we already talked about angry emotions in the previous article. According to the article What Happens to Your Body When You Are Angry?, anger is not always negative. So, how do you make anger a ‘healthy’ emotion? Come on, read the article below to find out how to manage your anger!
Here Are 6 Tips You Can Do to Manage Your Anger
1. Manage Your anger with Breathing Exercise
When we are angry, we often feel an increase in our heart rate and breathing rhythm. This is due to our ‘fight or flight’ response which is triggered when we are angry. Thus, regulating your breath is the first step you can take when you’re angry. Focusing on taking deep breaths at a regular rhythm can help you reduce your angry outburst. Breathing exercise can also be accompanied by repeating affirmative words such as, “Calm down…” or, “Relax, it’s okay ..”
In addition, you can also practice relaxing imagery, which is imagining an experience that makes you relax, be it direct experience or imagination. Both of these methods can be practiced on a daily basis until they become habitual when we are angry.
2. Identify Your Response to Anger
There are various ways of expressing anger. Therefore, anger is not always expressed in the same way. Some people express their anger with aggressive behavior such as shouting, breaking things, or throwing harsh words. However, anger can also be expressed passively, silent treatment is one example.
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So, which type are you when you’re angry? It is important for you to know the type of angry response so that you can manage it more effectively.
3. Stay Quiet and Take A Step Back
When you are angry, you may be tempted to vent your anger with harsh words, but doing so will only hurt you. Instead of regretting it later, it’s better to be quiet for a moment. Take a break and sit away from other people. Moments of silence will give you space and time to think rationally, process events, and return your emotions to a neutral state.
4. “Communicate” Your Anger Assertively
You don’t have to be aggressive or passive to express how you feel to others, KALMers. Use I-messages to express your anger assertively, such as “I get angry when you say inappropriate things like that,” or “I get angry when you make decisions without discussing it with me.” That way, you can express your anger and frustration without negatively affecting yourself or others.
5. Problem Solving
Anger is an adaptive response to threats to ourselves or the things/people we care about. As a result, anger is sometimes triggered by specific problems. You will be able to better control your angry emotions if you concentrate on how to handle and deal with the problem itself.
6. Write Down Your Anger
Whatever your anger habits (silent or aggressive treatment), this method will suit you. You may find it difficult to express your anger or may find it difficult to control it. If that happens, writing can be a solution. Write down how you feel and how you would like to respond. Processing it through writing can help you calm down and reassess what happened.
You can also try the Unsent Lettering method by writing a letter or email to the person who made you angry, then delete it. Instead of venting your emotions on someone who he or she may not feel guilty about for making you angry, this is more helpful.
In addition to the points above, in certain cases anger is also a symptom of a mental health condition that underlies the anger. In such cases, it is highly recommended to seek professional help.
What do you think, KALMers? Hopefully this article can help you express your anger in a healthier way. If you need help related to this matter, you can immediately download the KALM App (here)! In KALM app, you can consult with Kalmselors that are ready to accompany you in the process.
Written by: Dzulfani S
Translated by: Dzulfani S
Edited by: Rachma fitria & Lukas Limanjaya
Sources:
American Psychology Association. (2005). Controlling anger before it controls you. American Psychology Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control
Cherry, K. (2021, March 15). What to Do If You Feel Angry. Very Well Mind. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/5-things-to-do-if-you-feel-angry-5092021
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